This past week, Coach P.J. Gibbs dropped his latest Defense Lab Podcast, where he interviews, in my opinion, the greatest Center to ever play the game, Hall of Famer Kevin Mawae. Mawae was my favorite player back when I was still playing. He embodied the skills and techniques that I knew a center should be, and as an undersized kid myself, I studied his style more than any other player I’d ever watched.
During this exceptional interview, where he talked technique, his playing history, NFL greats that he’s played with and against, he dropped a pearl of wisdom so good, I knew I had to write about it. It was from his time with Coach Bill Parcells, where Mawae essentially out told Coach he couldn’t play for him, because his style of screaming and breaking players down doesn’t work for Mawae, and he wouldn’t get anything out of him. Coach looked at him and said the absolute best nugget of wisdom I’ve heard when it comes to dealing with players:
“Everyone gets treated fairly, but not everyone gets treated equally.”
In today’s world, that sentence can sound harsh if you don’t take the time to unpack it. Some people hear it and immediately think it means certain players get special treatment while others get ignored.
That’s not what it means at all.
In fact, I would argue that understanding this concept is one of the most important parts of coaching JV football successfully.
Because at the sub-varsity level, we are coaching one of the most diverse groups of athletes in any sport. We have future All-League players standing next to kids who have never put on shoulder pads before. We have players who will someday start on Friday nights standing next to players who may never see the Varsity field. We have players who understand football naturally and players who struggle to remember the snap count.
And despite all those differences, every one of them deserves our investment. Every one of them deserves our coaching. Every one of them deserves our respect. That’s where fairness begins. But fairness and equality are not always the same thing. And understanding the difference can transform how we coach young athletes.
Let’s start with something that many coaches struggle to admit: The old-school method of breaking players down simply doesn’t work anymore. Truthfully, I’m not convinced it worked nearly as well as people think it did back then, either.
For years, football was filled with the idea that coaches had to tear players apart before building them back up. The yelling. The humiliation. The public embarrassment. The constant negativity. Some coaches still wear that style like a badge of honor. They’ll tell you stories about how miserable practices used to be and how that’s what made players tough.
Maybe.
But here’s what I know. I’ve watched far more players quit because of that style than I’ve ever seen improve because of it. Especially at the JV level.
These are teenagers. Many are playing organized football for the first time. Some are already balancing difficult situations at home, school, or socially. Some are lacking confidence before they ever step onto the practice field. The last thing they need is a coach whose primary objective is to make them feel worse about themselves.
Our job is not to break players. Our job is to develop them. And development requires trust. It requires relationships. It requires players believing that when we correct them, we’re doing it because we want them to improve—not because we’re angry.
That’s where modern coaching has shifted. The best coaches today are still demanding. They’re still disciplined. They still hold players accountable. But they do it while building players up, not tearing them down. And that’s a huge difference.
One of the biggest examples of this shift is how we handle mistakes.
I see it happen all the time. A player misses an assignment. He blows a block. He misses a tackle. He runs the wrong route. And immediately he’s yanked off the field.
Then comes the yelling. Then comes the bench. Then comes the message: “Figure it out.”
Hell, I’ve seen a coach bench a kid and say “You’re not going back in until you stop playing like shit.”
The problem is that most young players don’t know how to figure it out. If they did, they wouldn’t have made the mistake in the first place.
At the JV level, mistakes are part of the learning process. Honestly, if your players aren’t making mistakes, they’re probably not being challenged enough.
Now, that doesn’t mean mistakes don’t have consequences. It doesn’t mean players should remain on the field if they’re repeatedly hurting the team. But if a player comes out of the game, the next thing that should happen is coaching.
Because eventually he’s going back in. And when he does, he needs more than just a memory of being yelled at. He needs an answer.
This is a big point of emphasis I’ve made with our JV coaches and I’m proud to say they do a damned good job of: If a player comes off the field and only knows that he screwed up, we haven’t done our job. If he comes off the field understanding why he screwed up and how to fix it, now we’re coaching.
That’s development.
When I say every player should be treated fairly, I mean every player deserves access to coaching. Every player deserves effort from their coaches. Every player deserves honesty. Every player deserves respect. Every player deserves opportunities to improve.
That doesn’t mean every player gets identical treatment. Because players are different. Some need confidence. Some need accountability. Some need encouragement. Some need structure.
The art of coaching is understanding what each player needs and helping them get there. Treating everyone exactly the same sounds noble. But in practice, it usually means you’re treating nobody the way they actually need.
Fairness means giving each player what they need to develop. And that’s where the second half of the quote comes in.
There, I said it. Every coach has favorites.
Now before you close the article and start sharpening your pitchforks, hear me out. I’m not talking about favoritism based on talent. I’m not talking about favoritism based on who scores touchdowns. I’m not talking about ignoring players you don’t like. That’s bad coaching.
What I’m talking about is something much simpler. Coaches naturally gravitate toward players who buy into the program. The player who sprints between drills. The player who asks questions. The player who stays after practice. The player who gives effort when nobody is watching. The player who celebrates his teammates. The player who fights through adversity. The player who embraces coaching. Those kids become favorites.
And honestly? They should.
Because those are the behaviors we want the rest of the team to model. When coaches show appreciation for effort, commitment, and attitude, they’re reinforcing the culture they’re trying to build. That’s different than playing favorites based on popularity. It’s rewarding behaviors that strengthen the program.
One of the things I love most about JV football is that effort can close gaps. I’ve coached incredibly talented players who struggled because they lacked commitment. I’ve coached average athletes who became outstanding players because they refused to be outworked.
At the JV level, effort matters more than almost anything else. Because talent eventually reaches a ceiling if effort isn’t there. Effort keeps pushing. Effort keeps growing. Effort keeps developing.
So yes, coaches tend to love players who bring effort every day. Not because they’re easier to coach. Not because they’re more talented. But because they’re demonstrating exactly what we want the entire program to become.
Here’s where people often get confused. Having favorite players is not the same thing as investing only in those players.
In fact, the best coaches often spend more time with the players who are struggling. The kid who can’t remember assignments. The player lacking confidence. The athlete who hasn’t figured things out yet. Those players need coaching too. Maybe even more.
The difference is that coaches appreciate effort wherever it comes from. A third-string player giving maximum effort every day often earns tremendous respect from a coaching staff. Not because he’s the best player. But because he’s displaying the qualities that help build a successful program. And that’s what JV football should be about.
At the end of the day, JV football exists to build the future. We’re preparing players for Varsity. We’re teaching culture. We’re developing habits. We’re building confidence.
And the players who buy into that process tend to become the foundation of the program. Not always the most talented. Not always the biggest. Not always the fastest. But often the most committed. The most coachable. The most consistent.
Those players become culture carriers. And culture carriers are worth their weight in gold.
Everyone gets treated fairly, but not everyone gets treated equally.
At the JV level, that means every player deserves respect, coaching, opportunity, and investment. Every player deserves adults who believe in them. Every player deserves a coach who wants to help them improve.
But it also means that effort matters. Attitude matters. Commitment matters. Buy-in matters.
The players who embrace those things will naturally earn more trust, more responsibility, and often more opportunities. Not because they’re being handed something. Because they’ve earned it.
And that’s one of the most important lessons football can teach.
Life isn’t always equal. But it can be fair.
As coaches, our responsibility is to create an environment where every player has a chance to grow, a chance to contribute, and a chance to become something greater than they were when they first walked onto the field.
That’s not favoritism.
That’s development.
And that’s the real purpose of JV football.
Teach it. Rep it. Build it. That’s the JV Way.
